A Hot Shower
by Beatrix Bloxam
Summary: James in the shower. What more could you ask for? Featuring the suck-factor of muggle plumbing and the intricacies of James' mind. One-shot.


Welcome to another one-shot... this one involving James and a shower. Mmm. Right, so, erm. Harry Potter et. al. don't belong to me, they belong to the lovely JK Rowling et. al.- I'm just borrowing them. And the thoughts contained herein are mind, because this story is based on my own plumbing experiences That said... remember to review (it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside) and enjoy!  
  
-Trinity

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Finally, a hot shower. I tiredly pull off my cold, wet robes and jump into the small shower in Lily's second bathroom. Sirius was a prat and claimed the master bathroom while we were still outside, so I'm stuck with the shower off the kitchen, barely large enough to stand in. At this point, I really don't care, though. As long as it lets out hot water...  
  
Sighing, I close my eyes happily and let the hot water fill every cold pore of my body. The muggle showers are strange contraptions- not difficult, but different. There is actually a technique to taking a shower, it turns out- you have to adjust the water throughout the course of a shower! Apparently wizard showers do this automatically, as I've never noticed any of this. Standing in the shower, the water is as hot as I can possibly stand it right now. But give it a minute or two and I will need to turn up the water. Make it hotter, I mean. Apparently, my body gets used to the water, and what was once as hot as I could stand is now cool.  
  
With a tremendous effort, I open my eyes again and turn around to turn up the water. I've taken showers at Lily's before (no, no, don't think about it in that way), so I'm familiar with the muggle faucet system, but the first time I used it, it was an unqualified disaster. Ah, that's better- the water is hotter, and I can feel my body defrosting as steam fills the tiny space. There's nothing so nice as a hot shower to soothe oneself after a long afternoon of playing Quidditch in the cold rain.  
  
Too soon, the water feels merely warm again, and I turn the water up further. I rub my hair quickly, then discover that my hair is as muddy as my body was a few minutes prior. Sighing, I lean around the curtain to retrieve a bottle of shampoo, realizing that coming out of the shower with muddy hair wouldn't be the best idea. I scrub my head, occasionally pulling stray hairs off my hands, until I think I've gotten all the mud out. I lean my head back under the water to discover that the water is yet again only warm. I turn the water up more... and more... and it's only getter colder. Damnit, someone probably flushed the toilet again! Irritated, I quickly wash out the shampoo in the rapidly cooling water before diving for a dry corner of the shower- I have to nearly cram myself into the corner to keep all but my feet out of the now cold water.  
  
I take this opportunity to think about how nice hot showers are. Especially after being outside in the cold, and being wet while outside in the cold. And now I'm cold again, as the water is istill/i cold, and not getting any better. Stupid muggle plumbing- can't even maintain a constant temperature in two places at once. Irony is the water in the flushing toilet is probably warm. Warmer than the water in my shower, anyway. I momentarily consider checking the toilet in my tiny bathroom, but decide that would be stupid. Speaking of stupid, Sirius probably has all the hot water he needs.  
  
I cross my arms over my bare chest, noticing goosebumps popping up on them. I impatiently check the water again- still cold. In frustration, I wonder if my shower is simply confused. I turn the cold water back on, hoping this act will the jar the plumbing into realizing that the water is supposed to be warm. I check the water again, and nearly jump out of the shower entirely. It's FREEZING! I quickly turn the cold water back off, and the water returns to its previously cool state. At least I managed to get all the shampoo out- there's nothing keeping me from simply abandoning my shower now. Except that I'm cold and was looking forward to a long, hot shower. Not a short interrupted shower.  
  
I check the water once more and am delighted to find that it's slightly warmer. As I slowly put my arm back under the spray, I feel the water becoming almost warm! Happily, I return to the rapidly warming water, waiting for it to return to its previous hot state. That's the best part about the water getting hot again- you've messed with the controls, so the water quickly goes from being ideal penguin temperature to lobster boiling temperature. A wonderful feeling. My water quickly follows that pattern, soon becoming too hot to stand. I turn the water back down to its previous setting and relish in the joy that comes from getting your hot water back. I feel like a boiling lobster, and boy, is it good.  
  
Of course, nothing's ever perfect. My water pressure has dropped slightly, and I decide that Sirius must be using the shower now. Stupid prat, hogging all the water. I squeeze some conditioner into my hair and rinse that out slowly, taking notice that the entire bathroom is now roughly the temperature of a sauna. Lovely. Steam filling the top 2 feet of the room (which would include the one foot of space above my head... notice there's one foot left for my head to become lost in. Bad pun- head in the clouds.) I close my eyes once again, leaning my head back, and enjoy the feeling of the hot water soaking my skin and superheating my body.  
  
After a few moments, I open my eyes to a nasty shock. A face is peering at me from way too close. I jump and move my hands quickly down, as I am very aware of my nakedness. Then I realize it's Lily.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I demand, taking stock of her disembodied head floating outside my shower. She probably can't see anything, I decide- she's far removed from the actual shower, and she's pulled the shower curtain to hide her body from me, and, more importantly, this means she probably can't see much below my shoulders. She smiles, noticing my concern.  
  
"Sirius came out of the shower ages ago, and none of us have ever known anyone to take a longer shower than him. We got worried." I laugh, agreeing.  
  
"I would probably be out by now," I say, knowing it's a lie, "except that some idiot flushed the toilet, leaving me with no hot water for a while." Lily nods, a small smile on her lips. I start to worry. "It wasn't you," I ask, hoping I didn't just call my girlfriend an idiot. She shakes her head, laughing.  
  
"No, that was probably Sirius," she replies. "Are you nearly finished?" she inquires, her eyes straying from my face briefly. She knows this will discomfort me, and it does- but I try not to show it.  
  
"Yeah. Give me a sec- unless you want to join me," I offer, trying to look serious. Lily shakes her head, smiling, although I can see her cheeks slowly reddening. Ha, take that. You're not the only one who can deal out embarrassment, I think triumphantly. I lean my face out and kiss her quickly before she retreats from my shower, and I hear the door closer behind her. I sigh, reluctantly turning off my lovely hot water, and pull the towel into the shower with me. She might still be here- I wouldn't put it past her. With a camera, maybe. I make sure I'm fully wrapped before emerging to an empty bathroom. Oh well. You never know.  
  
I pull warm clothes on and rub my hair roughly with my towel. Hm, the mirror apparently didn't like my idea to turn the bathroom into a sauna- it's completely fogged over, and could be a blank wall for all I know. I quickly wipe it clear with my towel and run a comb through my hair. Not that it does any good- my hair will lie straight for a few minutes, but it'll dry sticking straight up, mark my words.  
  
I examine my reflection, noticing that I look much more like a lobster than I did before I entered my boiling pot known as a shower. It'll fade, I decide- once I exit the oven known as the bathroom. I rub my chin, realizing I haven't shaved in a few days, which will surely be pointed out several times tonight, thank you Lily. Well, can't do anything about it now- all my stuff is in the master bathroom upstairs.  
  
I realize I also have no socks, which doesn't really matter anyway. I quickly pick up my towel and hang it on the shower rod before taking a quick survey of the room. Nothing left behind, and I prepare to leave. Wait... I grin, a thought occurring to me. I cross the room, check, and wash my hand on my way out of the bathroom.  
  
Yep. The toilet water was quite warm.  
  
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End file.
